LINdy harper

Irreverent and kind. Easily distracted, but nothing focuses me faster than intimacy. Lover of synonyms, innuendo, puns, and dad jokes.

Passionate about story telling, public transportation, food, fallibility, and pleasure.

I'm an English Lit major who can't spell, and an ex-Mormon apostate. Rules are made to be broken.

Zaftig, busty, voluptuous. "A handful." I have short hair, unshaved armpits, tattoos, bush. A fat bottom and a big smile.

I enjoy being kissed until my glasses fog up and I remember to take them off. 


I'm a nerdy misfit without a bra. I have a curious mind, a kinky sense of adventure, and an engaging and playful presence. 

Visit me in my comfortable, light-filled apartment. I love early morning dates that exist in that space before the day begins, like an extended erotic dream. 

Group play is a great vehicle for creative expression, which is why I offer group dates with some of my closest friends. What items can we check off your bucket list?

I love living in Portland and enjoy most of the activities it has to offer. Below are some places I already enjoy or would love to explore. My social rate is waived if you take me on a shopping date.

I'm available evenings, weekends, and most weekday mornings. You can occasionally find me in Olympia and Seattle.


Biking at Pedalpalooza

Karaoke at Voicebox

Jumping at Sky High 

Skating at Oaks Park


Dinner at Departure

Lunch at Aviv

Cocktails at Expatriate

Tea flights at Smith Tea


She Bop

Powell's Books


New Seasons



240 HR

350/90 min



760 4HR

1200 ovrnght

150 HR FBSM)

My social rate is 100 for 90 minutes. Duos are their rate plus mine with a minimum of 1 hr. Please inquire about overnights and fly-me-to-yous and I'll create a custom rate.


I don't have a menu. I do have activities I enjoy, and am willing to share them with you when I feel comfortable. These are the fastest ways to make me comfortable: 

Fill out my booking form and provide screening information. Let me know the date and time you'd like to meet, the length of time, and if you'd prefer to come to me or invite me to you.

Tell me the top two things you've found yourself thinking about this week, or what your favorite meal is. Anything you're interested in, so I can get a sense of who you are.

Offer the consideration at the beginning of the appointment, in an envelope or book, or by placing it on a bedside or coffee table.



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